You're Already Not Talking: A Reality Check About Outreach

Let's address something that keeps too many mix engineers stuck: the fear of reaching out to potential clients or collaborators. I see this paralysis constantly in my coaching work, and it usually sounds something like:

• "What if they don't respond?"

• "What if they say no?"

• "What if they think I'm not good enough?"

Here's the reality check you need: You're already not talking to these people. You're already not working with them. You're already not getting their business.

Think about that for a second.

That producer you want to work with? You're already not mixing their tracks. That artist you admire? You're already not in their circle. That studio you'd love to collaborate with? You're already not on their radar.

So what exactly do you have to lose?

If they don't respond to your message, you're in exactly the same position you're in right now. If they say no, you're no worse off than you are at this moment. The only difference is you'll have actual data instead of assumptions.

Here's what this realization did for one of my coaching clients: He had been hesitating to reach out to a producer he admired for months. Once he realized he was already in a state of "not working with them," he finally sent that message. Guess what? The producer didn't respond. And my client was... completely fine. Because nothing had actually changed from his original position.

But here's where it gets interesting: Two months later, he tried again with a different approach. This time, he got a response. Now they're collaborating regularly.

The math here is simple:

• Not reaching out = 0% chance of connection

• Reaching out = Some % chance of connection

• Current situation = Already not connected

When you really internalize this, it transforms your approach to networking and business development. You start to see every outreach attempt as a free lottery ticket. Sure, most won't hit. But you're already not winning, so what's the harm in playing?

This mindset shift changes everything:

• Instead of "I hope they don't reject me," it becomes "I wonder if this will work?"

• Instead of "What if they say no?" it becomes "What if they say yes?"

• Instead of "I'm not ready," it becomes "Let's find out if this resonates."

Here's how to put this into practice:

1. Make a list of every person you wish you were working with

2. Acknowledge that you're currently not working with any of them

3. Accept that reaching out can't make you worse off than you are now

4. Draft your messages with this freedom in mind

5. Hit send and immediately move on to the next one

The key is to detach from outcomes. You're not trying to force connections or guarantee responses. You're simply opening doors that are currently closed.

Remember: The successful mix engineers you look up to? They're not successful because they never got rejected. They're successful because they understood that the default state is "not connected," and the only way to change that is to reach out consistently.

Some practical tips for this mindset:

• Send outreach messages first thing in the morning, then focus on your actual work

• Keep a "potential connections" list and systematically work through it

• Celebrate the act of reaching out, not the responses

• Track your outreach efforts to see patterns in what works

• Use each non-response as proof that rejection doesn't hurt you

Here's the beautiful thing about this approach: Once you truly internalize that you're already not talking to these people, your outreach becomes more genuine, more relaxed, and ironically, more likely to succeed. When you're not carrying the weight of potential rejection, you're free to be more authentic and direct.

You're already not talking to them. You're already not working with them. You're already not in their world.

So what are you waiting for?